Have you ever stopped to think about why there are so many people present at one Habesha (Eritrean & Ethiopian) wedding? Well, usually it's because our parents and families are heavily involved in the planning (it's almost like they were planning their own wedding) and they make a lot of big calls on how the 2-3 days long festivities will be carried out- number of guests being one of them!
The reason why Eritrean & Ethiopian weddings tend to be so large is because, culturally, they are celebrated with not only friends and family, but the entire community. They are tight knit communities that highly honor and celebrate weddings among one another; usually with guests nearing 1,000 -- it literally feels like a concert (and yes, of course they're a lot of fun!).
This tradition has made its way over to the diaspora where most Habesha weddings continue to include entire communities.
Personally, this was the most challenging aspect of my wedding and it's definitely the same case for most Habesha couples planning a wedding in the diaspora. This has been a topic of discussion for quite some time now.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE our beautiful Habesha wedding traditions; but (seriously tho) they can just be too complicated at times!
Recently, my generation has become privy to the western culture of a "guest list," which makes it challenging to negotiate guest size with our families. They want "the community" and we want "175 guests max." A lot of times we end up caving in to our parents' wishes because we love them and want them to be happy...after all it's not just our wedding, it's their wedding as well (or so it seems that way).
I've known brides to dish out some pretty clever negotiations with their families in order to have a more intimate wedding.
Because Habesha weddings are usually celebrated in a sequence of 2 days (Saturday- Western culture & Sunday- Habesha culture) some brides have split these two days entirely and opted for a destination wedding for day 1 with close family and friends, and 2 weeks later celebrated day 2 with their "community!" Great idea! Wegahta + Reddi took this approach and Wegahta says her family fought the idea of a destination wedding at first but were elated and couldn't be more happier with the outcome! She says it was "the best of both worlds!"
A split wedding (like the example above) can work really well.
Meet Feven Misgina Mesa- She and her husband planned for a split wedding with a destination wedding in San Juan, Puerto Rico and then back to the states for their cultural wedding day.... but they caved in to their mother's request and ended up with 3 total weddings!! One destination wedding and two weddings back in the states. Wow! Kudos to Feven and her family for pulling off three beautiful weddings!
Check out this sweet video Feven's sister Eden Misgina put together with pictures from their destination wedding in San Juan- it was intimate and beautiful, and looked like everyone had a blast!!
What do you think? Is this tradition here to stay or will we see more and more smaller and more intimate Habesha weddings in the near future?
Do any other African countries celebrate weddings in large numbers the way Eritreans & Ethiopians do? Tell us about it!
Are you a Bride who had a similar story or a ridiculously huge wedding? Share your stories with us, we'd love to hear how you managed! Leave comments below or email us for a possible feature of your wedding story: info@herbigday.info
Thanks my friend for introducing Habesha weddings to us. I really didn’t know about these weddings but really pleased to know about them. Keep sharing such informative stuff. Right now we are looking for some awesome wedding venues NYC for around 20 people.
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